My name is Jenni, I'm 28 and I have issues with food...

The biggest stress I have carried around with me the majority of my life is...my weight. Now, I'm not huge; just overweight enough to feel uncomfortable with myself sometimes. I moan about it, I whine about it and it is on my mind all day every day. I whined so much one time that the FFALWL said to me 'Jen, if you're so miserable, do something about it.' That shut me up. I mean, how dare he? How dare he not be sympathetic to the one thing which was ruling my life? What I hadn't appreciated was that in fact, it was ruling our life. Really.
Now, the FFALWL and I have an 'open' policy. We try and be as honest and open with one another. Even it it inadvertantly causes offence. Which means that more often than not, the poor guy has to hear me bleat on and on. Not this time. My man of so few words let me know that I upset him, I offended him, and he's sick to death of hearing about something, which to him, seemed trivial. I got mad. I told him how this effects me as person. He basically told me to get over it. He finds me hot, that's the most important thing. Typical guy. But he had a point. I think. And you know how us ladies like to talk about weight and such; well the one thing I hear every single time, is 'Jenni, you have such a pretty face...You really are a pretty girl...You don't need to lose that much weight, it doesn't matter', and I know these people mean it. They're not being condescending; they're being honest as good friends should be. I look at most people and see their true beauty, and if I mention it to them, they're shocked. We just don't seem to see our best qualities; only the bad. Shame isn't it?
I started a weight loss group, ate salad, drank water and lost a total of....2.5lbs. If I had had a big fat jackhammer, I would have smashed those stupid weighing scales to smithereens. But I persisted and the following two weigh-ins, I had lost 2lb each time. Clearly, that wasn't the weight loss regime for me. Now, please don't get me wrong, I'm not the type of person who sits around and eats rubbish all day. As I said, I think about my weight All. The. Time. My problem is, as I am running around all day long that I forget about myself. I don't eat three meals a day...I eat one. First mistake. I don't drink anywhere near 8 pints of water a day. Second mistake. Because I Don't eat three meals a day, I'll grab a 'healthy' snack bar. 'Healthy' if part of a healthy diet. Third mistake. I could go on and on and on...I have a terrible relationship with food, and my weight issues are my fault.
To make sure there wasn't any other reason for being unable to lose weight (under active thyroid runs in my family) I went to the doctor. All came back clear, but the doctor requested I go in anyway. She got the impression that something more was bothering me and wanted to make sure all was OK. And out it came, the poor woman. She looked at me with a world of sympathy in her eyes and said 'You have four kids, you're busy all the time...why can't you just be happy? Jenni, you're not even big'. Needless to say, I get this all the time. But this time, for some reason, it hit home. We talked about how the body works and how I am not looking after myself. We talked about how I am one of those people who will have to watch what I eat, probably for the rest of my life. About how, 'do you really have the time to put so much time and effort into counting calories and watch your food intake?' It gave me alot of food for thought (pardon the pun). The long and short of it is, I was super slim before kids, and after having four of the little blighters, my metabolic rate got screwed. Well and truly. The kind doctor offered me some weight loss pills which I thought sounded terrible. They stop the body from absorbing fat, which means it basically comes straight out the other end. Euch...NO! She congratulated and told me that was a wise choice. Referred me to a Dietician instead and I am to look forward to being taught from square one on how to look out for myself sometimes too. Well now, there's a novel idea...
And so a new chapter shall begin. I feel a little daunted and excited all at the same time, and I promise to keep you updated in later posts. Now, please excuse me, I have to go bury my head in a box of Muesli...

Same again?

Last night our little Logi-Bear was up with teething pains until 2am. When I say teething pains, I mean, all out squealing in pain. To say my heart broke a little more with every passing minute would be an understatement. My jiggling up and down, hushing and murmuring, stroking that soft blonde hair of his and praying for a break in his discomfort, almost became frantic. Mamma could not make baby better again. Daddy could not make baby better again. But having cried himself out of steam and an aggressive face rub with his burp rag (his doing, not mine), the little man fell asleep in my arms on the sofa. Having already resigned myself to a long night ahead, the Fiance-for-a-little-while-longer had made me a strong, sweet coffee. And having a great love for Latte...I was certain I'd last the night and be there to welcome the new day with a watery smile, content in the knowledge I'd sat by my baby and jumped at his every movement and snuffle. This lasted 20 minutes. Because, and I have no idea why, but that coffee...Knocked. Me. Out. So the Fiance-for-a-little-while-longer took a sleeping baby from my arms, deposited him into his cot and led me sleepily to bed. All was well with the world, and all in our home were sleeping like babies.

  After such a long night, one could be forgiven for laying the days plans aside and catching up with rest. No such luck. We had plans to visit a National Trust Park where there is a fabulous Manor House and an adventure park in the woods. We were meeting with friends, taking a picnic, and planned for the kids to run wild in the sunshine and woods. I now had a new worry...we had arranged to meet at 1130am. I was tired, wired (caffeine) and could see a to-do list growing at an alarming rate by the second. I'm also always late for everything. 6 people to get ready, an ever growing list and a tired/wired mum. There was only one way I was going to get through this...Delegation. In 3 hours the FFALWL and I managed to bathe/shower/dress all of us, made and packed the picnic, I baked biscuits (American style) for breakfast, washed the dishes, tidied the house, made the beds, sterilized/made up baby bottles and still had an hour to recover from the post-traumatic stress and give each other a high-five. We met as planned at 1130am. On. The. Dot.

So apart from our Logi-Bear struggling with his teeth, I can only hope for tomorrow...Same Again...?

Ah hello there. Let me introduce you...

Ok, I've stumbled through the basics of setting up my blog; I think we're finally ready to move onto second base. The Family. The very core of the little bubble in which I reside. Now, when doing my many hours of research (1 1/2, tops) I was told over and over to hide my childrens identity, don't give too much away, yada yada yada. But I have to say, I'm firmly on the fence on this one. I see no harm, within reason. However, one thing I read that sealed the deal; 'don't give away your kids name...if you can think of a name which would truly embarass your kid in their late teens...use it!' Perfect. (I will use the names to which they answer mostly, anyway...)
Kooks, my pre-teen drama queen. The girl is her mamma's daughter through and through. We lock horns occasionally. We laugh and love regularly. Her laugh is contagious, and the young lady she is growing into is astounding. Truly, truly beautiful. She, ah, she get's it from her Ma. Ahem...
Squash, my blue eyed mammas boy. No-one can tell me they love me in the same way he does. I prey the kid never grows out of it. (If you're now thinking along the lines of future wives, forget it. We'll talk more about that in later posts.)
Tay-Tay, I don't even know where to begin with her. They only made one of her is all I can say. She was put here to entertain the masses, and she makes people laugh wherever she goes. Our very own beautiful comedienne with the big blue eyes. Music is her biggest love. And Peppa Pig. Ugh...
Logi-Bear, the smallest of the bunch, he's the most bashful and smiley baby I have yet to come across. My little blue eyed panda bear who has ladies swooning from every direction. He's so placid he puts his Daddy o shame...
Which brings me to the man in our little world. The man who is my Fiance for a little while longer, who I cannot wait to marry. The Fiance-for-a-little-while-longer is responsible for preventing my crazy little world caving in on me most days. The calmest and possibly most patient person I have ever come across. And he's hot, to boot. Makes you sick doesn't it.
This is my world, and these are the people which make my everyday living so rich and filled with colour. There are days when I am run so ragged, I am struck mute my the time the kids have all been safely deposited into their beds for the night. There are days when I have had to deal with a million requests, half of which I really could care less about. But EVERY day, I have laughed with my kids, laughed with the Fiance-for-a-little-while-longer and gone to bed thankful that I was blessed to have these people in my life.

I think I get it now...

Ok, after putting down the laptop (calmly,and without slamming the lid. Yay me!) I have come back, and I think I may get it after all. A few adjustments here and there, and so far so good. Right now the babies are starting to scream bloody murder for nap time (God bless naptime!) so I will post my first proper entry after actual bedtime (yup, God bless that too!) I will pour a glass of wine and introduce you to my family and begin our slippery slope together during a few Stolen Moments...

Hello, and welcome! Bear with me...

After falling somewhat unwittingly into the murky waters of blogging, I have decided, hell why not; lets give this a try. Couldn't be easier, right? WRONG!! 4 hours in and I'm still figuring out how to 'build your own blog'. This very well may be a works in progress, so please spare me some patience while I earn my stripes in this crazy new world of the inter-web. Somewhere on this page (yup, I am yet to find it) I will have a little introduction to myself and the crazy (not so little) family you will be reading more about in coming posts.
P.s...Whilst we're all new and gently tiptoeing around one another and sniffing each others backsides, I would like to say that any feedback would be fabulous. I am no writer, nor have I ever proclaimed to be, so a little constructive (read: constuctive, not all out 'you suck') criticism will be greatly recieved.