A Grumble Between Two Loves

Last night after the kiddies were all deposited into their beds, the FFALWL and I did what we do every night. I threw the scatter cushions back into their rightful positions on their rightful couches. He took his iPod out of his pocket and put it in it's docking station. I scooted the footstool over to the two seater couch in preparation for four weary feet to rest their weary bones. He looked through our Sky planner to see if there were any recordings to catch up on. We both headed outside for a cigarette (don't judge, it's our only terrible weakness) and caught up on each others day and what, if anything, we needed to talk about. A fairly fail proof schedule which happens every evening. Without fail.
What normally happens next, is we go collect our drinks which the FFALWL had speedily made when docking his iPod, we venture back to the couch, then press play on the Sky remote...and snuggle. We usually watch Mock the Week. We always laugh the entire way through. Again, don't judge, it's another of our only terrible weaknesses...
But during our first terrible weakness, we started to grumble. The FFALWL had told me had put out an email at work, asking all the guys if they want to go on a day out golfing. Perfect, they all deserve a break and I was happy for him. But then he said 'I am going to speak with the Ombudsman and see about you wives doing something together too so you aren't just sat at home.' Hmmm...OK, I was starting to wilt a little here. I checked with him that this would be on the same day. 'Well yeah...'. I was wilting some more. So I told him, 'Honey, I'm glad that you're going to go off with the boys for the day. You guys deserve the break! But why do the wives all have to be the ones to entertain the kids? Why can't we go off and you boys be entertainers for the day? After all, out lives are revolved around entertaining the kids.' He told me he was thinking of me, and thought I'd be happy to get out the house and see other people while he's off with the guys. I told him I appreciated his sentiments, and I truly did; I could see what he was saying. He couldn't see what I was saying; all he could hear was criticisms and that I wasn't being very thankful.
So there we sat, drinks in hand, feet on the footstool, the guys on Mock the Week desperately trying to lighten the mood, and me trying to explain to the FFALWL that I am thankful that he was thinking of me, and it was nice of him to do so. But he couldn't see my point. I couldn't see his. The silent stand-off began.
Now, I am a talker. If there is a problem, I want to talk about it until it's resolved. We then kiss and make up and nobody has to try and sleep with a heavy heart. If I am wrong, I will always put my hands up and say it (unbelievable I know, but true nonetheless. A lesson I learnt through a failed marriage). This time, for once, I couldn't admit liability. I had hurt his feeling, I had apologized, there was nothing more I could do.
After our evening fail-proof-schedule-which-happens-every-night, without fail, the FFALWL heats a baby bottle, I lock up and we meet up upstairs in bed...and snuggle. Last night, I went up alone and we didn't snuggle. I had a clear conscience for once and I intended to sleep like a baby. No chest hairs tickling my nose, no human inferno cuddling against me...I could sleep covered by the duvet the entire night! But I woke with a heavy heart; my apologies hadn't worked and there was nothing more I could do.
The FFALWL came downstairs and said, 'So are you going to continue being pissy, or apologise?' HUH?? Then I realised; I always apologize first. I always broach the subject and make amends. The FFALWL, having never had a long term, serious relationship before me, didn't know how to make said amends. Time to teach my man a lesson. I told him I will not be apologizing; I had done so countless times already...and I walked away. Lesson one. He came to me and said, 'Although I don't know why I should be apologising, I will...'. I told him to think again...and I looked away. Lesson two. He came back and said he understood, he loves me, he's sorry. I said thank you, he gave me a kiss. I wished him a good day at work, he winked. My heart was no longer heavy.
My reason for this latest post is not to 'air my dirty laundry in public' (ugh, I detest that saying). Nor is it to boast of a very rare occasion where I am right and he is wrong (OK, maybe a little...), but for an acknowledgement, that we don't always have to admit liability for a quiet life.
And I would also like to offer my strong silent Texan an apology in advance should there be any grumbles over me outing him for being wrong this time...and revelling in it. OK, and loving it too...